If you guessed “Peeing”, you’d be correct.

I’m definitely going to be stuck on the cane for a while until my quad and glutes get stronger on the right side and my muscles loosen up.  So tightening and loosening.  Simultaneously.  No small task.  I’m stiff so it’s altering my gait which sucks.  I’m up to 5-7 minutes of walking using the support bars on the treadmill, practicing my foot going from heel to toe in a forward motion vs. a pigeon toed landing from pre-surgery.  It’s hard work but I’m devoted to it.

My bandages fell off this morning!  Ewwwwwwwwwwneat!  The doctor used stitches my body will eat up underneath dermabond.  For the last week, my right leg has been itchy as hell under all its bandages.  No lotion or ointments and winter air, I’m freakin’ ashy.  But here is my 4 inch scar and my icky bandage that was superglued to my skin.


IMG_4920Nice job on the laser hair removal.  As you can see, totally bikini ready.

On New Year’s day, I got my buddy back.  He was driving my Tita nuts because he kept talking and howling.  He’s used to having a whole house to explore, not being kept to a room.  He’s a great hot water bottle and hasn’t been a bother at all under foot.

20140101_190348How you doin’?


This weekend, I participated in my second Tour de Pork, my first ride outside since a triathlon in eTown.  After a hellish hill near mile 20, I got a flat tire.  I wasted a c02 cartridge because I thought I’d just run low on air.  But that wasn’t the case because it turned out I ran over broken glass.  So I removed the tire, took out the old tube, checked for more glass particles and proceeded to waste c02 cartridge #2 by prematurely piercing the seal.


I couldn’t connect the mini-pump I had to the valve.  WTF?  It came with the kit and proved to be completely useless.  I was on record time!  I hadn’t changed a tire in less than 20 minutes!  My friend Karen was watching me and I was showing her how to put the tube on without trapping it between the tire bead and the rim when putting it all together.  She was going to call our friend Steve to come and pick us up but I told her to hold on.  She gave me her only c02 cartridge and BOOOOOOOM!!!  An essssplosion so big, the force blew off my bracelet.  I’d, um, trapped the tube between the tire bead and the rim.

After laughing for about 5 minutes, Karen looks straight at me and deadpans “I’m calling Steve.”  Her delivery was hysterical and I just crack up again.

While we wait for him, we heard a rifle.  Then more shots.  Okay.  Yes.  Calling Steve was a good move.

I’m happy with my 20 miles.  I wish I made it to 26 but considering there was either high humidity or rain coming down the first hour, the 16-17ish mph we were averaging on the straightaways coupled with the practically 0.0mph on some hellish hills were good enough for me. Since I’ve been stationary cycling with almost 0 resistance, this is a win.

There were 8 of us who made it to the event but 5 finished.  Looking at the picture, seems there’s an unwritten minimum height to finish the Tour.  But I still endorse the fundraiser!

It's not that my companions are giants ...

It’s not that my companions are giants …

I’m in the pig jersey.  I’m still working on losing all the weight I gained since not being able to run but there’s not much I can do to combat derp face.  The back of the jersey says ‘I never met a hill I can’t walk up with my bike’ or something like that.  I need a new one since I managed to get grease all over it failing at changing my back tire.

It could have been way worse.  Poor friend of ours in pink, second from the left, she never made it to the course because of a freak accident when she was walking her bike from the parking lot.  Worried she was going too slowly, she moved to the side to get out of people’s way and accidentally stepped on her tire, twisting her leg and sending her slightly down a slanted grassy bank.  She thought she had a goose egg to the side of her knee.  It turned out to be a bad break requiring surgery.  What she described after her diagnosis sounded like a tibial plateau fracture.  What she thought was a goose egg was bone trying to protrude from her skin.  ACK!

We got together and bought her a bottle of Lost My Mind wine from Turtle Run Winery.  It’s a sweet, light wine and the name of it seemed just so appropriate.  At the time we bought the wine, she was at an immediate care center and was told it was a hematoma.  Then the staff came back and said it was a break and that she’d have to see an orthopedic surgeon which didn’t happen until Tuesday.  If I had to go back, I wish I could’ve taken her to an ER and maybe the whole process would’ve gone much, much faster.

It sucks she’ll be known as That Lady Who Didn’t Make It To The Start for this event.  But knowing her, she’ll probably have a t-shirt to wear in 2014 that says on the back “I’m that lady who fell in the parking lot  . . . and I’m passing you up!”

Time flies by so fast and two weeks of non-blogging can easily become a month if I don’t watch it.

I learned the Everybody Dance choreography before getting to National Dance Day at the Kentucky Center for the Arts and wasn’t planning to do the Master Hip Hop Routine but I did it anyway and I am happy to say I hung in there with the best of them.  I did, however, screw up the Everybody Dance routine a gazillion times so I guess my muscle memory can only hold so much information before pushing other stuff out.  It was fun as hell!

Later that same day, I went to Fandomfest which, for us fans, was deemed a complete failure on the organizer’s part.  It was next to impossible to read the map, everything was way off schedule and I was happy I didn’t pay for anything extra because I heard people who paid for the VIP passes didn’t get anything they were promised.  Up to 150 volunteers failed to show up and it was obvious.  No signs at the convention center saying certain events were being held in a different building.  Queues for Q&A panels were disorganized and because the panels were off schedule, they asked the big draws of the evening to cut it short.  WTF?  I sat in on Stan Lee, members of the Firefly cast and John Barrowman from Doctor Who/Torchwood/Arrow/many musicals.  I was 6th in the queue to get Alan Tudyk’s signature when he broke for lunch – and because I was with my buddy Mary Beth, I gave up my place card for the line in order to speed hobble to get to a panel she wanted to attend.  I was in bad shape even though I had a cane – 2 hours of dancing, 14 hours on my feet, 2 hours of more dancing at the masquerade ball.  I couldn’t walk the next day!

I booked a vacation to go back to New Orleans over Labor Day week.  I have a short story for that but I didn’t realize about this time of year was when Katrina hit.  It’s the first trip I’ve ever booked over Groupon.  I’m not really sure how this hotel will work out but as long as there aren’t critters coming out of the wall, I’ll be okay.  If I’m staying in the hotel room more than being out, I’m doing New Orleans wrong.

Busy at work.  Busy busy busy busy.

I got a call from one of the companies that offered me a job then rescinded the offer because they hired an actuary instead.  I’m not sure if I want to go through with it yet.  I’ll find out more tonight.  I’m concerned about the viability of the company because if they couldn’t afford to create two positions, that’s not a good sign.  Then again, I once interviewed at a place that brought me in for 5 different positions and 3 second interviews and were contemplating another position when one solid offer somewhere else came through.  Ugh.

Workout-wise, I did a lot of the spin bike this week and I’ve been working a lot this weekend on bike maintenance.  Or as much bike maintenance as a doofus like me can do.  I changed both tubes which took, not kidding, an entire fucking hour because I couldn’t get the tire back on the wheel without it popping off in another section.  Changed my pedals, oiled the chain, put new tape on my clip on aerobars and put on the bike computer I got really cheap.  I found out why I got it super cheap, other than it being used.  No English instructions.  I started swimming again earlier this week but just short workouts and I saw a massage therapist at a different hospital on Friday which was AWESOME.  I learned some new stretches that would help my knee and my hip felt great.  The nurse taped it up and I’m trying to make the PT tape last more than a couple of days.  It’s not itchy yet so that’s a plus.  Fingers crossed.

I walked half a mile.  Yay!!

Oculus Reparo!!  C’mon, dammit.  This happened in the middle of my subadvisory fee analysis at 4:45 with only scotch tape at hand. These suckers became untaped 4 separate times in a couple of hours and I ended up working late, getting home at 8pm.

Sad. These are transition lenses and my new glasses don’t come in until July 20th. 
Read More


Yeah, that looks about right.  Today my work husband (corporate tax director in the East) talking about how easy it is for him to zone out during a marathon and we talked zen in different disciplines.  Then we talked about who he thought would make good spies in the company and if dildosexual was a real world.  Ladies and gentlemen, corporate accounting at its best.

Today the stress just kept raining down at work so for my lunch break, I took a swim.  I’ve gotten it down, changing, swimming a mile, showering and back to the office (albeit looking like a wet dog) within an hour.  In a 25 yd pool, did 1000yd 18:12, 500 yd 8:55 and 250 yd in 4:21. My rabbit was a guy wearing flippers.  There were tons of swimmers in flippers today during lunch, I felt unfashionable!

I’m not going to hit my fantasy mark of 32:00 for 1.2 miles this summer but maybe in another couple of seasons with hard work, I can whittle my time down.  The super fantasy unicorn time is 56 minutes for 2.4 miles which my favorite database administrator achieved at an Ironman distance race somewhere in Europe.


Yesterday was a rest day – not intentional but I was pressed for time with a hair appointment and a rescheduled vet appointment.  I was going to swim afterwards but aftercare for Pocky took priority plus it wasn’t a good idea to swim just after I got my hair colored.  Pocky’s problem was what we identified it from Google images – a superficial pyoderma caused by staph.  Pimples from bacteria.  Since I’m not a vet and don’t trust my diagnostic skills, I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t worms.  This staph infection is nothing $100 can’t cure.  Ugh.

But I beam with pride every time one of the vets in the practice examines Pocky and says he’s got terrific musculature and is in terrific shape.  I do my best to keep him challenged like doing some of the canine food puzzles and letting him go all berzerker in the back yard.  He just LOVES running with the other dogs.  I’ll have to post a video once I can find that freakin’ cord.

Today’s workout was 50 minutes of spinning with just a bit of resistance.  Since I’m not ready to stand on the bike, I’m doing intervals of time in aero position to get used to it.  Again, sweating puddles for no good reason but that position makes me work hard.  It’s easier on my back, definitely, but am I faster?  I won’t know until I go outside and cycle and I’m not quite ready yet.  I think July will be my cycling month, 6 weeks until the Tour de Pork 28 or 56 mile routes.  I’m not looking to set a time record.  I just want to finish and earn wine tasting with lunch!

After work, I forced myself to swim.  I was very tempted to go straight home for a nap but since I’m going to New Orleans, I want to do what I can to combat praline and beignets and all the seafood.  Oh, and the booze.  I’m glad I swam.  I had a 2,000 yd workout that had a lot of drills so it was nice to concentrate on that instead of getting worn out with sprinting.  I finally got some backstroke flip turns down!!!  I was pretty surprised – usually I get dizzy and nauseous pushing off on my back but not this time.

And I was happy all my 100’s were under 1:45, some under 1:40.  It’ll take a long, long, long time before I’m back below 1:10 – even 1:20 per 100yds but I think aiming to knock off a few seconds a year is reasonable.  I know I’ll plateau at a certain point but so far, so good.  Last year for Cardinal Harbor’s half Ironman distance swim, I averaged 2:10-2:15 per 100 meters (so around 2:00-2:05 100yd) and I wasn’t swimming any other strokes.  It took 42 minutes to do 1.2 miles (swimming 2 laps around a buoyed path against and with current) with the same rate in the pool.  I think I’ve knocked about 5-6 minutes off that time this year though not in race conditions and with a compromised kick.  Since I’m not racing, I’m enjoying the luxury of being able to work on non-freestyle stuff.

Today’s song that revved me up underwater was, surprisingly, Layla.  I don’t even remember adding this to my swim playlist but when I was doing 3-1’s fly (kick 3 times underwater, come up for one fly stroke), this was just really cool.

And of course, I thought of Goodfellas.  Which got me thinking about Tony Soprano.  And then James Gandolfini.  I’ll have to make a separate post about my feelings on that because his death made me so sad.

If you want something to read on the Sopranos finale, this post is just brilliant.  I was doing a visual storytelling analysis of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (o, other life, other blog) when I saw the Sopranos finale and I was just captivated.


It took all the caffeine in the house to get me to the pool at 5am but I trudged through 3,000 yds including 2×1000 (19 min, 18:01 min) and drills including 5 x 50yd + 20 starting block pull ups.  That and the push-ups finished anymore swimming for the day.  Ughhh.

At lunch, I did 60 min spin bike, again sweating like a pig.  I don’t know why this gets so hard for me with practically no resistance.  Since there’s no computer on the spin bikes, I have no idea how far I go on those things.  Can’t be far.  I seriously doubt it’s over 12 mph with the low resistance.  But I’m sweating like I ran a 10k.